Snowstorm Thoughts

29 degrees, snow falling, slush forming on the road; I drove home from work three times this past week in these conditions. Each night I fought to stay on the tire tracks of the cars in front of me. Vearing off these tracks the car was pulled toward the ditch or on coming traffic, and the fight to get back on the tracks began. Each night I made it home safe and sound, though it took me longer to get home that normal.

Our spiritual life is very similar to driving in a snowstorm. We can only see in front of us a little, and often it takes us long to do the things we want to do. We follow the example of Jesus and fellow christians that have gone before and left their tracks for us as a legacy. The road we travel is narrow, and when we get off the tracks we are easily pulled into a ditch of sin. "Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everthing that hinders and the sin tht so easily entagles"; Hebrews 12:1. We cannot pull ourselvs out of the ditch that sin can put us in nor can we pull out a car that has gone into the ditch. We have to call in a tow truck to pull out our cars; we have to call on Jesus to pull out our souls. "Anyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved"; Joel 2:32.

Touched Twice

On Saturday I had the opportunity to help with the Touched Twice clinic in Madison. This clinic is set up to meet the needs of people in the Madison area who do not have access to health care. We provided every thing from hair cut and massages to dental care for free. It was great to see how many people came and to see how many needs were met. It reminded me a lot of the medical team that came to Macedonia in March and all the needs that were met there.

Must Read!

I just finished reading a series of three books for young teens called The Land of Elyon. The series deals with a young girl, Alexa, and her journey to save the land of Elyon. In the first book, Alexa saves her kingdom of walled cities from destruction by tearing down the walls. The next two books deal more with the land on Elyon it's self and how Alexa must save it from Abaddon (see Rev. 9:11), a seraph who wanted to take the place of Elyon (El Yon; means God's possession in Hebrew) the creator, sound familiar. She sets off with a small assortment of human and animal friend to save the land of Elyon. Along the way she learns about Elyon and faces danger. The Christian under tones of the books are fairly strong but can be missed by those who are not Christians. This unfortunately makes these books perfect for the public school. While not directly saying, "God made the world, he loves you, and coming back." It is implied through the books as Elyon who does these things for his creation. It is veiled just enough that I can openly suggest these books to my students without violating any laws.
As a Christian and a teacher by profession, I am always on the look out for books that have Christian themes that I can use in my classroom, and I have found a series that definitely made the cut. It is more subtle that Chronicles of Narnia, but not as disguised as Lord of the Rings. It is a fun and exciting read and I am glad to have discovered The Land Of Elyon.

Settler of Catan

Do you Catan? This is probably the best boardgame that I have ever played. Unlike other boardgames, Catan changes every time. Nothing ever stays the same. I've played the game many times this weekend and had a great time. I even won a couple of times. If you have never played this game, find someone who has and have a ball.

Lonely on a Wednesday Night

I've had to do a lot of adjusting the past few months between moving back to the US, my sister’s marriage, and my grandmother’s death. But it seems that the hardest adjustment is just starting. Living in small town America is great but it does have its drawbacks, the same as going to a small country church. WHERE ARE ALL THE YOUNG PEOPLE????? The closest people to my age are either married with children or 10 years older and never talk to me. Having lived in a large city (Skopje 750,000 to 1 million) I was always doing something and hanging out with other people, but since I returned to America the only time I've been around people close to my age was two weeks ago when I visited Hillary and Diane. Even then they live in completely different states. I'm terrible lonely tonight so excuse this rant, I'll be fine tomorrow (I hope).

Wisconsin Weather

Three days ago it was a very nice 75-80 degree. The sun was shinning and there was a slight breeze. Beautiful weather for a picnic or just to be outside. Today, it is 49 degrees and the breeze is making my so cold I am wearing a hat and gloves! How can the weather change so fast. I'm heading into Madison to warm up in the mall or Walmart. Even my hot lunch is not getting cold after two minutes! I am not a warm blooded animal like most people. I'm more like a reptile or amphibean. I need to lie in the sun to warm up or take a very hot shower.

Utah and Friends

I just got back from my friend HIllary's home in Salt Lake City, UT. I haven't seen her in over 3 years, so I was very excited to see her. Another friend, Diane, came as well. We had a great time of talking, laughing, and hanging out together. It is amazing how with close friend you feel as though you pick up right were you left off the last time you see them.

State Fair

"Our state fair is the best state fair, yes the best state fair in the state!" I spent the day at the Iowa State Fair with some good friends, the Dawsons. We went around and saw all the exhibits and ate too much! The best thing about the Iowa State Fair is all the exhibits. There are a lot more things to see at the Iowa State Fair than in the Wisconsin State Fair. In Wisconsin there are a lot of beer tents and people with booths trying to sell you things but not many exhibits showing the things that people from the state have made or things they did. Iowa has building after building of these types of exhibits. That is the whole purpose of the fairs; to show off what your county or state had to offer. Baking contests, quilts, art work, and giant vegetables grown in your state. Something to be proud of that your state/neighbors have done, not beer tents and vendors. I can shop at the mall if I want to, not the state fair.

Cleaning Out Grandma's

Tombstones, etched with your name and dates of birth and death, are that people will know you about after your death. Your entire life is sumed up in that small little dash between you birth and death. There are no grand epitats of old, just a small little line. How you lived, what you liked or disliked, those you love and those you hated are all forgotten and replaced by a hyphen. Only those who loved you remember those things, and many times they forget as the years pass by. Only the things you leave behind remind them of these likes, dislikes, and the things you held dear.

I travelled down to Iowa to help clean out my grandma's house and get things reading to sell, and I learned a lot about my grandmother just from the things she left behind. Old pots and pans, lots of clothing, somethings she bought her self, somethings gifts from the family. A few iteams from her mother and grandmother, and those things you wonder about. Why did she keep this? What is that? You can learn a lot about a person from the things they owned and kept through the years.

Two Wedding, a Funeral, and Camp

I've been home for almost two months and I have so far attended two weddings and a funeral. My sister's wedding on June 2nd, and my friend Julie's brother's wedding at the end of June. I went along as a nanny for Julie's four daughters. I also recently attended my Grandma Bonny's funeral. She died on July 6th from cancer. Many relative came to Iowa for the funeral. The week before my grandma's funeral I was at youth camp as a counselor for a week.

A lot has been going on here for the past two months. I still need to find a job though.

When is the 20th?

Sometimes I believe that my natural hair color should have stayed blond like it was when I was a little girl. I have some classes to take in order to renew my teachers license. I signed up for one of these classes and wrote the dates down so I would not forget. So yesterday, I get up early pack an overnight bag and drive an hour and a half to the class in Milwaukee. I arrive with about 30 minutes to spare. I grab my letter to check the time for registration. On the top of the letter right before the registration time the date is typed. Registration begins at 8:30 on Wednesday June 20th. Good I'm early, then I looked again. WEDNESDAY!!! I was a day late. The genius in me wrote down the wrong day. I had the class written down on Thursday and Friday, but the class started on Wednesday. Can you say BLOND!

Home Again

It has been a long time since I last wrote. I arrived home to Wisconsin safely and have been busy ever since. My sister got married the Saturday after I arrived home, June 2nd. The wedding was small and everyone has a good time. I've been keeping busy visiting friends and taking care of some house cleanning that I needed to do. I am still looking for a teaching job for this fall. Please pray that I will be able to find a job.

Ohrid

On my second to last day in Macedonia I took a day trip to Ohrid with my freind Sonja. We were going to go earlier, but it was raining all last week. We took the bus to Ohrid, aobut a 4 hour drive in the bus. We walked all over the city and looked at all beautiful churches, ruines, and even an active archeological dig. I loved watching the workers dig, clean, repair, and sort all the artifacts that were found. We even went into the old amphetheater. We talked and had a wonderful time until it started to rain again. We came back a little earlier than expected, but I would not have changed anything about that day.

Youth Picnic

Today the youth group had a picnic outside of Skopje. We had a wonderful time of fellowship and playing games. There were even two girls who do not come to the youth group who joined us because they were invited by a friend. We were able to use the picnic as evangelism tool for these two girls.

More Bad News

My other grandmother has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is not a Christian, so please pray for her salvation! I have been witnessing to her for many years, but she has not allowed Jesus to be her Lord and Savior.

PS. I've decided that I will more than likely die for cancer.

Pray!!

My mother e-mailed me today that my grandmother, her mother, has Colon Cancer. She is going in for surgery on June 11th. We will know how extensive the cancer is then. The doctors said that if it has spread, she is too old for chem therapy.

Please pray that this will bring my uncles to the knowledge of Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

Back in Macedonia

Well, I arrived back in Macedonia from Spain safe and sound. I arrived home at 3:30 in the morning and collasped on my bed. I had a great time at the All Europe Retreat that we had in Spain. We had meetings that reallyhelped and encouraged us. We also had a wonderful time of rest and relaxation. I loved meeting the other missionaries in Europe, especially seeing the Engets who are in Ireland. Mr. Enget taugh at Trinity while I was there, and it was good to see them and hear how God has worked in thier lives.

Baptism

Today Caleb was baptised in water in Spain. He was one of twelve who were baptised. Most of them were children around the age of 8 give or take 2 years. It was exciting to see such young children making this commitment to serve Jesus Christ our Lord.

Arrival in Spain

The AG is having an all Europe retreat in Spain this week/weekend. I flew from Thessolaniki into Rome and then onto Barcelona. The lay over in Rome was only a hour, so I was only able to see Rome from the airplane. The only site I was able to pick out was the Colussium. Once arriving in Barcelona I had to board the train and take about a 2 hour ride to Salou. The ride was very easy and I was able to see different parts of Spain.

I will be in Spain until May 13th, then I arrive back in Skopje at about 3 or 4 in the morning (techniquely it would be Monday the 14th).

I have already meet some people that I know, including an teacher from college who is now a missionary in Ireland. It was good to talk with him and his family and see how God has been working in their life.

Language Fun

I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean today. I borrowed it from a friend and while the movie is in English, it has Macedonian subtitles. I was reading the Macedonian subtitles, and watching the movie when a subtitle came up that I could not help but laugh at.

Any time you watch a pirate movie you always here "pirate lingo", such as "Ahoy matie", "Davie Jones's locker" and "shiver me timbers". Such is the case with Pirates of the Caribbean. All the pirates agree to board the ship and go after the Pearl and rescue Elizabeth. Shouting "Aye" they turn and prepare to leave. The Macedonia subtitles during this part read "Jac" which means the pronoun I. While the words "Aye" and "I" sound the same, they are not. Instead of translating "Aye" it to yes or Ok, it was translated into "I". Any time I see a pirate movie I will always remember to shout "Jac/I" instead of "Aye".

May Day

The first of May is one of many holidays that are celebrated here. The church decided to have a picnic at a park near Matka. We arrived in the late morning around 10:30, and the park was already full of people. We played games, talked, and ate lunch together. The weather was pretty good, even though is did sprinkle on us once or twice. Overall, it was a very good day.

Teaching English

A fellow missionary teaches English to Macedonia through an outreach called Exodus. Her family is going to be gone for the month of May, so she asked me to substitute for her. I will be teaching two classes a week for about an hour and a half each time. I attended one class today to see how she runs the classes and to meet the students. I had a good time and I am looking foward to teaching English.

Standardized Testing

Oh, the joys of teaching and testing. We are almost finished with the school year. Only about a month left. Daniella and Caleb just finished taking their standardized tests this week. I also tested three other American children, Nate, Danica, and Caleb Voris. They attend our church, live three blocks away, and are good friends of the Whites. It was quite a challenge to administer four different tests at the same time. Caleb White took his test right away in the morning, since that is when he concetrates the best. The other 5 took their tests after Caleb finished. They all seemed to do well, but I'll have to wait until their scores come back to know for sure how they did.

Jumping through Hoops

Do you ever feel like you're a dog jumping through all these hoops, and the only thing you get is to be put back in your kennel?

Easter

I went to the Orthodox church last night for the Easter celebration. Having not been able to attend an Orthodox service for Christmas, Forgiveness Day, or any other holiday I made sure that I went for Easter. The streets that led up to the large Orthodox are blocked off so that no vehicles can enter. People are then able to fill the streets outside the church for the Easter service that takes place after midnight in the courtyard of the church. The priest came out of the church and walked around it two times and then read from the Bible from the stage. After the reading people crack eggs and then eat the eggs. The rest of the night people stay and have a party.

I arrived at the Orthodox church early so that I would not miss anything, and so that I could look around. There were many people selling candles and flowers. I walked into the church and watched what people were doing. All round the walls of the church were other icons set on table. People would cross themselves, kiss the icon, and leave money for the saint. One man has a priest with him. The man kissed the icon in front of him, the priest then lifted a sash like cloth that he was wearing and placed it over the man's head. The priest then read a prayer from a book and blessed the man.

In the center of the church was a table with one or two icons representing Jesus. The table it's self represented the "grave of Jesus". People would cross themselves, pray, touch or kiss the icon of Jesus, leave money, and then crawl under the table. Crawling under the table represents becoming one with Jesus Christ in his death and resurrection. On the other side of the table, two priest would sprinkle them with holy water.

While watching the rituals being performed I could not help but feel as though I had walked into the enemies camp. These people were going through the rituals the receive "salvation" but they were receiving nothing from this. A feeling of emptiness grew in me as I watched These people are close to the reality of Jesus and yet so far from it. The truth is there for them to see, but they are blinded by tradition and rituals.

Ticket Please

Recently, I finished reading "The Hidding Place" by Corrie ten Boom. In it she tells a story about her father and her when she was a young girl. Corrie was worried about how will she be able to do something in the future. He said "Corrie, when do I give you your ticket for the train to Amserdam?" Corrie replied "Right before I board the train." Her wise father then tells her, "It is the same way with God. He will give you what you need at the moment you need it and not before. Don't worry about what will happen, God will provide for what you need when you need it."

Last night during the ladies Bible study, we read from Max Lucado about the burden of worry. In the book "Traveling Light" he tells the story of his family traveling by plane. He holds all the tickets for the family and right before they board the plane, he hands the tickets to his girls. Just like Corrie's father, Max tells us that God will provide what we need at the right time.

Waiting is not a strong suit for most people, and I am no exception. My term in Macedonia is coming to an end in about 2 months, and I am searching for direction in the future. I am searching for a teach position in America as well as looking into classes that I need to take care of in order to renew my teaching license. This always makes me anxious and troubled. Will I find a job? What if I don't? I need to teach in order to renew my teachers license. Will this delay my returning to Macedonia? What, Why, How? I am not sure of what my future holds, but I take strenght in what Corrie ten Boom and Max Lucado have written. I know that God will give me my "ticket" before I get on my "train". I just need to trust and wait for the train to arrive.

Ozymandias

I met a traveler from an antique land, Who said - "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert. . . near them, on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lips, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed; And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Ozymandia, King of kings, Look on my Works ye Mighty, and dispair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away."

Team from America

What a week and half I have had. A team of Americans from South Carolina came to Macedonia to minister to the people here. They were broken into two groups. The first group worked on construction the new church in Strumitca. They arrived with only the flooring and pillars poured. In a week and a half, they have built most of the walls of the church. It is such a blessing to have their help building this new church.

The second group travelled all around Macedonia to different villages providing medical care. We had lines of people waiting to register and receive their examination. We saw over 600 people during the six days and visited seven villages. One was a small Turkish village in the middle of a valley about a two hour drive from Negotino. No one has been to this village to evangelise it and it has a very large radical Muslim influence. Because of this, we were not able to share the gospel in the Turkish village, but we were able to open the doors to future evangelism opportunities. There were many twisting and turning mountain roads to these villages, but it was worth all the trouble getting to the villages to minister to the people in the villages. We even got lost once and had to ask for directions from a shepherd.

The team took one day off in Greece. We visited some ruins, shopped, and went to the Mediterranean Sea. The team returned to America on Friday. It was a lot of work, but it was all worth it.

Fieldtrip to Mavrovo

A group of friends and co-workers when to a ski trip to the town of Mavrovo. This was the first time for two people in the group and only the second or third time for most of the rest of us. I have only been ski one other time before, and that was thirteen years ago! We rode up the ski lifts to the top of the mountain. It took about 5 minutes, but I enjoyed the ride. It was beautiful with all the new snow. We were literally skiing in the the clouds. My hair and Daniella's hair froze with all the moisture in the air. You can see the frost on Daniella's hair better, because her hair is so much darker than mine. It continued to snow during the morning. I fell down the mountain the first time down and lost my ski. I had to try and put it back on while on the slope. I did much better the rest of the day, but I did fall a few more times. It was so cloudy/foggy all day, that I went slowly down the mountain. I was afraid that I would run into someone because I couldn't see them. We were the only ones there that day besides the people who work there. We had the whole mountain to ourselves. I had a great time and enjoyed the fellowship time with everyone.

Living in the Shadows

Life in the shadows is not the place that most people want to live in. Humans by nature fight for the spotlight. They long for recognition, praise, and self worth for who they are and what they have done, to live in the spotlight of life. To be noticed by other people. Without this we are living in the shadows. Every one goes through these periods of living in the shadows. Sometimes it feels like you have been living in the shadows for weeks or months. Other times only for a few days. I have been feeling like I am living in the shadows the past couple of days. I don't know why exactly, may be it is a little bit of homesickness or culture shock, but I have been dealing with feels like I am living, also most forgotten in the mix of life happening around me, seen but unseen. Waiting to be seen or remembered.

Then I remember what Jesus said in Matthew 6:1 "Beware of practicing your righteousness (life) before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven." In other words, If you are getting your acceptance, self worth, or spotlight time from others, you better milk it for all it is worth, because that is all you are going to get! By looking for recognitions, praise, and worth in people; we are losing what really matters, God's favor and reward. We should strive to please God and to gain our sense of worth from him and him alone. Man's praise is fleeting and meaning less. God's praise last for ever and is the only thing that true fills is void (longing) in our life for recognition, praise, and self worth. Men are only human and will let us down and disappoint us, but God will never fail, forsake, or forget us. He leads us through the shadows of life to teach us to trust and to find our worth in Him.

Americans on the bus

I was on the bus the other day heading to my language lesson. At one stop a couple got on the bus and I immediately thought that they were Americans. They did not look like any Macedonia I had ever seen. I could not hear them talking until I got off the bus, but I knew for certain that they were American when I saw their socks. Below are some pictures of Macedonia socks and one American sock. See if you can pick out the American.

Publishing Pictures?

I received an e-mail the other day from a man named Gajic. He wrote that he works for a company that produces date books that are themed around one particular country. He had seen some of my pictures on flickr, and asked to possibly use them in a date book he is producing around Macedonia. I looked into it to make sure that it was legitimate, and it appears to be. I told him he could use the pictures he was interested in for his date book. I may have some pictures printed in a date book! I put the pictures below.

Making Friends

Part of ministry on the mission field is building relationships with the nationals. Although I am friendly and talk with people, it seems to take forever to get past that superficial level of "Hi, how are you?" Making friends at any level takes time, but often I feel as thought I am running at an even slower pace than others. This is also compounded by our world of instant everything. Of course, I am always my own hardest critic. After four months of working here I am beginning to see the fruits of this slow relationship building phase of ministry. The past three weeks, I have been invited to do more things than the past four months combined. I have had a wonderful time being able to fellowship with my friends and to see that I am making at least a small difference.

The Vardar

Have you ever need sometime to think and be alone without really being alone. But is you are around people they start asking why you are so quiet. They seem to think there is something wrong with you because you are being quiet. When I get that way, I go for walks. I am around people, but I am alone with my thoughts. There is a walkway right along the Vardar that I like to walk on or sit by and think. Today was one of those days. I just needed to walk and clear my mind. The best thing about clearing my mind is that then I can hear God speak more clearly.

Negotino Children's Church

We sang the song, "The foolish man built his house upon the sand in Macedonian.

Busy weekend

What a busy weekend. Birthday on Friday, and then on Saturday I was asked to speak at the youth service. I give my testimony and encouraged the youth to hold fast to God even when ill treated by classmates at school. Today I spent travelling to two different churches. This morning, I was able to travel to Negotino and attend church there. I sat in on the children's church and watched as they practiced a skit for an outreach they will be participating in later this year. I was even able to see a new building in a small village that is going to be fixed up and used as a church. The building was given to the church in Negotino to be used for reaching the village. There is a lot of work to do, but I am excited to see what God is going to do in this small village. This evening I was able to attend the largest Gypsy (Roma) church in Macedonia. It was a very exciting experience, and I enjoyed it.

26 on the 26th

Friday was my birthday! Can you believe it 26 years old. When my sister turned 11 on the 11th, I thought it would take me forever to turn 26 on the 26th. Now the day has come and gone. I went to see a movie with the youth group and some friends. We then relaxed at my house and ate cake. It was a very different birthday, but I had a good time and enjoyed the company of my friends.

Visitors from Kosovo

We had visitors from Kosovo came to Eddie and Patti house. Three missionary families from Kosovo came to Macedonia and paid a visit to all of us missionaries here in Skopje. We had great time of fellowship and prayer for each other. We ended the night watching the Saints and Bears game. It was very interesting since half of the group were cheering for the Saints and the other half was cheering for the Bears. Not a particular fan of either team, I cheered for both sides.

Ministry in Southern Macedonia

I took a trip down to a town near Greece called Strumetza (I think that is how you spell it in English). There is a team coming later this year in March to help with the construction of a church. Eddie White, Ed B., Tim, Sonja and I were able to see how far along the building was and to see the plans for the church. Afterwards we attened church there and were able to minister to the people through preaching and fellowship. Sonja even talking about the ICI classes that the people can take to learn more about Christ, the church, the Bible, and other important topics. We got back around 10:00. I have a great time meeting other Christian here in Macedonia and seeing new places.

Chicken Sandwich?

Yesterday Patti and Eddie took Caleb to see a doctor about his rash that he has. Daniella and I spent the day together. We took the bus to the Bit Bazaar and did a little shopping for things that I needed. It was lunch time and we decided to get a sandwich.

I took her to the little place that I usually get a sandwich at. The man there speaks a little English and I like the chicken there. When we walked up, the man smiled at me and said "Chicken sandwich, yes?" I was so excited; he remembered me and what I like to eat. While this may seem like something little or insignificant, I felt like it was big step toward my acculturation process here. As well as making feel important enought to be remembered.

Learning a Language

I stole this from my friend Ian here in Macedonia. He is from England. This is the best realistic example of learning a language that I know of. I am currently at stage 3 most days.

Stages to Learning a Language

1. Not having a clue what anyone is saying. They could be laughing at you or anything, but you have no idea.

2. Being able to “yes”, “no”, and “I don’t know”.

3. Making use of the above word – this leads to much more advanced communication as you learn to let a person talk and occasionally nod or shake the head and say “Дa/si/oui/po etc. “ or “He/no/non/jo ect.” so that people think you understand. Note, this stage can last a long time, even as the vocabulary increases. However, one word that you don’t want to hear during this stage is “paзбиpaш?/capisci?/ comprendes?/kupton? etc.” which reveals you have been found out.

4. One passing stage 3, one can engage in more expert conversation – the weather, football, politics, salvation etc.

5. Being proficient and fluent in the language. Note, however, don’t assume you have reached this stage too soon. You may be able to have great conversations about the speed of light and the condition of your soul, but then you speak to a friend’s parents and you feel like you are back at stage 1 again. This is when you again exercise the abilities reached in stage 3.

Not as computer literate as I thought!

I said I was not computer literate person. I can figure out most things on a computer after trying for a couple minutes. But recently, I am not sure if it was because I've been been felling a little ill or because I am just busy, I could not figure out how to log back in to my blog. I has taken me five days! So much for any confidence that I improving in this aspect of my computer skills.

Beginnings

There is no better way to start the New Year than with a new experience. Not computer savy as most people are, when my friend suggested staring a blog I was less than excited. Ever the persuasive person she convinced me. So here I am starting the New Year with a new experience.