As a mom, I've had a few irrational fears about being a parent and about Patrick. While pregnant it was will he have all his fingers and toes (maybe that one is normal). Then as a newborn it was am I feeding him enough and does he know I'm there to take care of him. Silly fears, but rooted in things that I've read in the parenting books I've been given to read. All these things to look out for and "make sure you do." Needless to say I've quit reading the books and I'm doing what I think is best. Since then all the irrational fears and stress have gone away. Well, except one.
The only irrational fear that I still have is when Patrick is crying and I'm driving. When Patrick starts to cry in the car it is because he is tired. When he stops crying, he has fallen asleep. This is where my irrational fear kicks in. I get anxious that he didn't fall asleep but quit breathing and died. All the things they tell you about SIDS doesn't help any. Like I said it's irrational but it's there.
This fear though is based on a family experience. I had a cousin who died of SIDs at about the age Patrick is now. The story I've been told is that my aunt when to check on some animals and left her and her older sister in the car. It was a cool March day, so my aunt had her under a blanket to keep her warm but cracked the window for air flow. My cousin was crying, and then stopped. When my aunt checked on the girls, she had died.
Thankfully, I have Jesus to rest and relay on when this irrational fear creeps in. He grants me security and peace that He is in control of my life and that of my family. "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27. I have to leave my worries and fears with him, they will only drag me down. Thankfully, my Lord is able to take them all.
No comments:
Post a Comment