Fireflies

Driving home from work tonight the fields were a light with hundreds of fireflies. Childhood memories flooded my mind. Hot, sticky days at grandma and grandpa's house in the summer. Picking berries off the bushes on the way down to the swing-set in the backyard. Cool night chasing fireflies on the golf course across the street. Grandma Pauline would give all the grandchildren clear plastic containers to place our treasures in. Firefly after firefly carefully caught and placed in the containers, we didn't want to crush them, at least not yet. Watching the little bugs flashing on and off in the jar. We would then cruelly pull the flashing butts off the fireflies and use a needle and tread to make glow-in-the dark bracelets and necklaces. Sometimes we would stick the "lights" on our fingernails. I feel sorry for the poor bugs, now.

Depth or Width?

In church, Pastor Dan made reference to Corrie Ten Boom, one of my personal heroes. One of the first things that came to my mind was the fact that she forgave and helped her former prison guards and those who treated her and her family ill. Her depth of faith makes me want to have the same depth. I started to think "If I had half the faith and forgiveness she had. . ." but I stopped. Everyone has people they look up to and want to be like. We all want to emulate someone and there are people out there who feel the same way about me/you. So mathematically speaking, if I only aspire to posses half the character and spiritual deep as someone, what about those who want to be like me? They would only end up with a quarter of that original depth of character and spirituality. And what about those who would look up to them. In the end we lose that depth. Depth of character become shallowness; spiritual maturity becomes hypocrisy and luke-warm faith that doesn't stand against the slightest temptation. Paul said it best when he wrote "follow me as I follow Christ." He says to emulate Christ not him. He knew his own failures and he knew that only by following and being like Christ would there be any depth in their lives and spiritual growth. In a world full of shallow people, we need to strive for depth; not width in our faith.


PS One of the things I like about Corrie Ten Boom was that she too fully acknowledged her weaknesses and even wrote them in her book. She shows that it took many trials and struggles to get to the point of trusting God enough to forgive and heal. Just like Paul showed and wrote about his weaknesses and trials.

I HATE job hunting!!!

Applying for jobs is never an easy task, especially for a teaching position. The endless questions, forms, and applications; they never seem to end. Each school had different questions they want to you answer. Then you have to wait, and many times you hear nothing back from the schools. Not even a thank you but no. I'm beginning to wonder if it will every end. Am I doomed to be a substitute for the rest of my life? Will I ever find favor in a school district and be hired? The schools I've worked in seem to like me a lot, but I can't seem to find a job. Why is that? Everyone says that you are wonderful, you do a good job, but no one want to hire you. I just getting more frustrated at time goes by. I have two years (including this one) to find a job or I lose my license to teach and then I'm stuck being a substitute. I don't mind substituting, but there is not consistency. I don't get to impact the lives of those students. I can't be that constant light for Jesus that is so desperately needed in our schools.