Another Year Gone

It is hared to believe that another year has come and gone. Tomorrow will be the last day of 2008 and people around the world will gather to celebrate the beginning of 2009. I'm heading to Harvest Community Church for a second time to celebrate the new year. Last year the church held a New Years Eve party to play games, talk, eat, and just hang out. I never thought I would meet my boyfriend that night, that is for sure. This past year held a lot of changes (two babies, yeah for Rachel and Theresa) and adventures (canoe trip on the WI River) for my friends and I. I just hope this year has as many adventures or more.

Photo Tag

1. Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer.
2. Select the 4th picture in the folder, insert it into a post.
3. Explain the picture.
4. Tag 4 people to do the same.
5. NO CHEATING (cropping, editing, etc.)



This is a picture from my first Sunday as a Missionary Associate in Macedonia. The church was having a baptism service in the Vardar River near Matka. There were four people baptized that day. This picture is of Pastor Merchej baptizing Alexander.

I tag Sonja, Crystal, Mark, and Ian.

One week left

My long term substitute position is ending in one week. After next week Tuesday I will return to the daily waiting. Waiting to see if I will work that day. Waiting for a call at 6 am or before. I seem to do a lot of waiting. No wonder Julie thinks I'm one of the most patient people she knows. I'll miss all my kids. I've grown to love them and was able to get to know them. I know I will miss this personal interaction. Hopping from room to room and grade to grade each day does not allow for the type of interaction that I have with my kindergartners. Only five more days and two nights of parent-teacher conferences. The count down begins.

First Snow

The first snow fell yesterday. You would have thought that it was snowing cotton candy by the kids reactions at school. The snow was very light and didn't stick around long, but it snowed and oh, the joy on the kids faces. Now, me on the other hand. Not happy. It's to early for snow in my opinion. Snow should not come until the middle of November. So the snow is only about two weeks to early. Now don't get me wrong, I like snow. I just don't like the cold and wind that comes with winter. I like the snow gently falling, not whipping into my face and through the coat.

Starting to Feel Like Winter

The days are getting shorter, the nights longer, and cold weather is setting in. It gets harder and harder to get out of my nice warm bed in the dark day after day. I find I am starting to layer more and more; undershirt, long sleeved shirt, and a sweater or sweatshirt. Refer to illustration. Even then I get cold still. Being cold seems to come easily to me, I guess it doesn't help that my normal temperature is 2 degrees lower than the average person. Socks stay on all the time (which is a big deal for me; I hate having my feet confined by socks and shoes). My dad has already turned on the heat. The running joke at our hous is that normally this doesn't happen until November (Love you dad!) I am not looking forward to huddling under layers of clothing and blankets for the next 5 months or so. Maybe I can move to Australia.

Sleeping in the moonlight

I don't care what any movie, TV show, or book says sleeping in the light of a full moon is not exciting, serene, or romantic. I know that in many movies before something exciting or romantic happens the women is sleeping peacefully and calmly in her bed with the moon light shining in the window. But like many things in movies, reality is very different from the movies. Trying to sleep in the moonlight is just plain bothersome. The light wakes you up and keeps you up with no way to dim the light.

Seasonal Change

Fall is one of my favorite seasons. I'm not sure if Spring or Fall is my actually favorite, probably Spring. I love the in-between, every changing, never know what to expectness of Spring and Fall. I like the colors, cool weather, and rewards of summer, harvest, in Fall. The impending warmth, lengthening days, and promise of newness of Spring. As much as I dislike change in my life, I love the change in the weather. I just wish that the days didn't have to shorten in Fall.

Waiting

Do you ever get tired of waiting? Not in line, but just waiting? Waiting for your life to finally start. I'm tired of waiting. It seems that all I ever do is wait. I've been waiting almost 6 years to find a permanent position in a school district. I've been waiting almost 10 years for someone, besides family, to think I'm worth while enough to love. Thankfully that wait is over to some extent, but the waiting continues. I know that God has his own timing, but why can't his timing and mine be the same for once. Everyone else seems to get what they want when they want it. Of course my everyone I mean the world, those who aren't waiting for what God wants. I guess waiting is just part of growing, and learning to trust God. Will this life lesson ever be over? Maybe that is why it is a LIFE lesson.

Roots

My Sunday school class at church has been talking about different topics related to church growth or lack there of. Last week we discussed relationships in the church. This got me to pondering, remembering, and looking back over the last year of two. This time last year I had recently returned from my year in Macedonia working as a Missionary Associate. I had stretched my wings, flown for a time, and returned to Wisconsin. I had not real job and was searching for a way to meet the requirements to renew my teachers license. I had no relationships or roots to speak of. Nothing that would keep me in one place if opportunity knocked somewhere else. My friends from college are scattered all across the US. Most of my extended family lived 5 hours away and we are not that close. I had my family and one close friend but that was not enough to keep me here. I could easily keep in touch with family and one friend if I stretched my wings and flew away again. There was just not much to keep me here. Wanting to do God's will, I waited and called on Him to show me what to do. He didn't answer but slowly, almost unnoticed, God began the process of growth, roots began to form in my life for the first time in a long time. And as these roots began to dig in, God was also working on settling me socially (I'm not sure if that is the best way to say it, but I can't think of another way of putting it). I had been asking God for years for close friends (plural: more than one) who lived near by and God began to answer these prayers. I meet some wonderful friends in a near by church. I'm still looking for a teaching job, but now I'm not in such a hurry to fly away. The urge to fly is still there at times, but my roots hold me to a place and people that are important to me and I'm okay with that. I like it and find that I am content, despite the lack of progress being made in other areas of my life.

Revenge of the teachers

As I am walking down to the work room after school Mary Lynn, the teacher who might retire this year and I want her job, tells me to stand guard and keep "it" from running down the hall. She is armed with a broom. I'm not sure exactly what is going on until she moves a bin and a little mouse comes scurrying out from behind. I'm not exactly sure how I'm suppose to keep it from running down the hall, but luckily Mary Lynn takes that broom and beats the mouse about twenty times until it is left in a little heap twitching it's legs occasionally. By now there is a small crowd around the area and some are sad the mouse died while others, Mary Lynn, feel no sorrow for the little mouse. Having some pity for the little thing I ran into the workroom and use a sheet of paper to scoop up the mouse and deposit it in the garbage can outside. Mary Lynn wanted to just sweep the mouse out the door. So is the tragic end of the little mouse who ate the crackers in my desk. At least I hope it was that mouse, or there is more then one at school.

Kindergarten Fun

There are some fun things that happen to kindergarten teachers. Monday I wore a skirt with black nylons that had a small diamond pattern to them. All day the kids would comment on my nylons and touch my legs. Mental note, no more nylons. I also received an African Violet from one of my boys. A leaf fell off, and being my grandmother's child, I put the leaf in a glass of water so it would grow roots. I never thought I would do that! I've also received the random comments and questions like "You are pretty." "Are you married?" and "When are you going to get married?" At least they haven't asked if I'm pregnant.

First week of long-term subbing in Kindergarten

Well my first week as a long term sub for Kindergarten has gone pretty well over all. I did have a few things to work with and iron out. I have never felt more behind, unorganized, and unprepared than this week. While most teachers have a week to get their rooms in order, decorated, and prepared for the first day I got 1 1/2. Only 1 1/2 days to prepare for the first day of school. Talk about prioritizing and only doing the main things that had to be done. From the moment I stepped into the classroom, I worked non-stop getting things ready and trying to figure out what to do in kindergarten. I'm certified to teach 1st through 8th grade, so I feel a little out of my league in kindergarten. I want to make a good impression, especially since this is not in my certification. I want the school to think "If she is this good in an area she is not certified in, imagine how good she will be in a certified area." At least that is my hope.
The days went fast and I kept busy trying to keep ahead of the days and catching up on work that I needed to get done. I have 13 children in my class. They were very well behaved for the most part this whole week. I did have a child cry everyday, a different child, but still everyday someone cried. I'm looking forward to seeing what is ahead for the next 11 weeks that I am in this classroom.

Vacation in Oregon

I wanted to give an update of my vacation to Oregon with my college roommate Janene. I hadn't seen Janene in 5 years, so when she suggested getting together and doing something I jumped at the chance.

Wednesday 8-20
My dad's birthday, I flew out of Madison arriving in Missoula, Montana around 2 in the afternoon their time. I thought I missed my plane (see post below). Janene and I jumped in the car and headed to Oregon right away. We spent the next 7 hours driving and talking the whole way. We spent the night in The Dalles about 30 min. from Multnomah Falls, our destination for the next day.

Thurdsay 8-21
We sleep in a little and then head toward the Columbia River Gorge area to see Multnomah Falls. We stop along the way to see Horsetail Falls and then continue to Multnomah. We hiked about a mile to the observation deck at the top of the falls and then continued hiking up the trail aways. There had been some sort of a landslide and the trail was blocked, so we turned around and headed back down to the gift shop area. We also stopped at Wahkeena Falls and hiked another 1/2 mile there up to the bridge and back. We stopped in Portland for about an hour and then traveled to Ft. Stevens near Astoria for the night.



Friday 8-22
This day we headed up the coast to Long Beach, WA for the International Kite Festival. That was really neat to see and the kites were very colorfull. We walked around the downtown area for a while to before heading down the Oregon coast. We stopped in Cannon Beach, which was beautiful. The beach was wide and sandy with large rocks jutting up from the oceam. We also stopped in Tillamook at their famouse cheese factory. I know, I had to travel all the way to Oregon to see a cheese factory. For dinner we ate at the Pelican Pub and Brewery in Pacific City, OR. The restrant is located right on the beach and had a spectacular view of the ocean. I really enjoyed eating there. We stayed the night in South Beach State Park in a Yurt. We could hear the ocean and sea lions most of the night.



















Saturday 8-23
We woke up a little early and headed into Newport for the day. We walked around the Historic Bayarea, watched California Sea Lions, visited a wax museum, Ripley's Believe it or Not, the Undersea Gardens, held live starfish and touched an sea annenomie. All this before lunch. We ate a picnic lunch at Yaquina Head National Park. We climbed to the top of lighthouse, walked along the beach, saw harbor seals, and walked through the visitors center. We then headed to the first lighthouse in Newport, which is suppose to be haunted, but I don't believe it. Dinner was early this day as we ate at Mo's which is famouse for it's clam chowder. If you know me at all, you know that I am not a big fish/sea food eater, but Mo's clam chowder was wonderful. I really liked it. After dinner I went for a dip in the Pacific Ocean. Needless to say it was freezeing and I basically ran in, dunked underwater, and ran back out.




















Sunday 8-24
This was another travel day. It was an 11 hour drive back to Missoula, so we took off early and drove most of the day. We talked, took pictures at a couple rest stops, saw Mt. Hood, and laughed at some funny signs in WA. My favorit was the sign that read "Don't Litter, It Will Hurt You", and "Don't Throw, Men Below". That one was near a bridge that was being worked on.

Monday 8-25
I flew home. I had a great time on my vacation and was glad to see my dear friend after such a long time.

Did I Miss My Plane?

I love to fly. I love just about everything about flying. I like take off, landing, and looking out the window to see the earth far below looking very small. What I don't like is the small seats and trying to catch connecting flights. On my flight out to Montana I flew to Denver and then on to Missoula. The flight to Denver was adventurous. I had the very last seat in the airplane, right next to the bathroom. The whole flight I was getting bumped by people using the bathroom. I couldn't recline my seat at all, forcing my self to sit in the uncomfortable upright position. The plane lands and I look at my ticket for my connecting flight. It leaves at 12. I then look at my watch and see the time in 11:40. Being at the very back of the plane, I was one of the very last people off the plane. If you have ever flown to Denver, you know that the airport is very long and your connecting flight is always at the opposite end of the terminal. I'm walking as fast as I can with out actually running to get to my terminal and on my plane. I make it there at 11:50 and I look around. No one is boarding the plane. I check the board to make sure I'm at the right place and that the flight is on time. Everything looks correct, but no one is boarding. I look around confused for a while and then it dawns on me. I'm in Denver, CO; it's an hour earlier! How blond can I be! I felt so stupid, I had a whole hour to wait until the plane took off. It's times like this that I wonder about my intellect.

Are you part of the remnant?

In our world today, there are many who claim themselves to be Christians, though many are so in name only. I have been reminded of this the past week in the class I am taking at the UW-Whitewater. Some of my classmates claim to be Christians, and yet by the stories they tell of their weekends and summer I have my doubts. They seek the pleasures of this work and not God. They serve themselves and only attend church on holidays and never open the Bible. Then while reading in Romans I stumbled upon one of my favorite verses. Paul wrote in Romans 11:5 "Even so then, at this present time there is a remnant according to the election of grace." Paul was referring to the time that Elijah was complaining to God that he was the only prophet and follower of God left. God's rebuttal, there were seven thousand who still believed and had not bowed to Baal. Just as in Paul and Elijah's time, there were those who claim something in name but not in deed or action. Yet, God's remnant remains. He always has those who believe and follow His ways. He is never without those who truly believe. A comforting thought went you are surrounded by those who don't believe at work or school.

Fireflies

Driving home from work tonight the fields were a light with hundreds of fireflies. Childhood memories flooded my mind. Hot, sticky days at grandma and grandpa's house in the summer. Picking berries off the bushes on the way down to the swing-set in the backyard. Cool night chasing fireflies on the golf course across the street. Grandma Pauline would give all the grandchildren clear plastic containers to place our treasures in. Firefly after firefly carefully caught and placed in the containers, we didn't want to crush them, at least not yet. Watching the little bugs flashing on and off in the jar. We would then cruelly pull the flashing butts off the fireflies and use a needle and tread to make glow-in-the dark bracelets and necklaces. Sometimes we would stick the "lights" on our fingernails. I feel sorry for the poor bugs, now.

Depth or Width?

In church, Pastor Dan made reference to Corrie Ten Boom, one of my personal heroes. One of the first things that came to my mind was the fact that she forgave and helped her former prison guards and those who treated her and her family ill. Her depth of faith makes me want to have the same depth. I started to think "If I had half the faith and forgiveness she had. . ." but I stopped. Everyone has people they look up to and want to be like. We all want to emulate someone and there are people out there who feel the same way about me/you. So mathematically speaking, if I only aspire to posses half the character and spiritual deep as someone, what about those who want to be like me? They would only end up with a quarter of that original depth of character and spirituality. And what about those who would look up to them. In the end we lose that depth. Depth of character become shallowness; spiritual maturity becomes hypocrisy and luke-warm faith that doesn't stand against the slightest temptation. Paul said it best when he wrote "follow me as I follow Christ." He says to emulate Christ not him. He knew his own failures and he knew that only by following and being like Christ would there be any depth in their lives and spiritual growth. In a world full of shallow people, we need to strive for depth; not width in our faith.


PS One of the things I like about Corrie Ten Boom was that she too fully acknowledged her weaknesses and even wrote them in her book. She shows that it took many trials and struggles to get to the point of trusting God enough to forgive and heal. Just like Paul showed and wrote about his weaknesses and trials.

I HATE job hunting!!!

Applying for jobs is never an easy task, especially for a teaching position. The endless questions, forms, and applications; they never seem to end. Each school had different questions they want to you answer. Then you have to wait, and many times you hear nothing back from the schools. Not even a thank you but no. I'm beginning to wonder if it will every end. Am I doomed to be a substitute for the rest of my life? Will I ever find favor in a school district and be hired? The schools I've worked in seem to like me a lot, but I can't seem to find a job. Why is that? Everyone says that you are wonderful, you do a good job, but no one want to hire you. I just getting more frustrated at time goes by. I have two years (including this one) to find a job or I lose my license to teach and then I'm stuck being a substitute. I don't mind substituting, but there is not consistency. I don't get to impact the lives of those students. I can't be that constant light for Jesus that is so desperately needed in our schools.

Sitting in a fast food restaurant for dinner I noticed something, single people read when they eat. Staying in Milwaukee for the night for a class the next day, I went out to eat dinner. Sitting at the table alone eating, I pulled out my book to read. Turning the page I looked around the restaurant. In front of me a single guy was reading the paper, behind me an older gentleman was reading a book. Now my question is why? Why do single people eating in a restaurant read? Is it to make it less awkward for them? Possibly to avoid looking around and being noticeably alone? I think it is to avoid or fill the void of conversation that normally is there. Instead of talking to someone else who is obviously not there, we read.

It has been over a month since I last posted anything, so I figured I better post at least something. Schools are out and I have the whole summer off. No more calls at 5:30-6:00 to see if I can work. No more uncertainty as to when/if I will work that day. This also means the only income I will have is from my part time job at Family Christian Stores. Just enough to get by on for the summer in addition to my savings. I have been able to save enough money to take three classes this summer. I have a class that is two days long and starts on Wednesday and then another class that is three weeks long at the end of July through the second week in August. The other class I am working on is an independent class that I have a year to complete. The only thing I have left to do now in order to renew my teaching license is find a teaching job. I had two interviews so far, but did not get either job. I just keep plowing along filling out applications and mailing them all out. It is rather expensive, but you have to spend money to make money as Eddie always says.

AH, Spring!

I love spring. It has to be my favorite season, autumn is a close second. The weather is usually mild, no heat waves yet and cold snaps are over. The world becomes colorful again with the bloom of May flowers and the green leaves gracing the trees once more. New life is born to most animals this time of year. Driving to church the fields are dotted with new born calves, lambs, and colts. The birds fly back to nest and sing in the trees every night and morning. The sun rises earlier each day and sets later each night. I don't think I could ever live in Alaska to much darkness in winter, but summer would be great 24 hours of daylight, although . . . sleeping might be more difficult with all the sunlight. I like living were the season change live the ebb and flow of the tide.

Saturday Errands

I think that I have figured out one reason I'm single; I'm not very observant of guys flirting with me. I spent the day with Rachel running some errands. We got the oil changed, went grocery shopping, and then had to run to the hardware store to buy more nails. According to Rachel two of the three errands resulted in guys flirting with me. Now I must be pretty dense as I didn't notice anything. They were friendly, but that was all I noticed. Each time Rachel told me the minute we walked out the door that the guy was flirting.

Summer Classes

To renew my teacher's license I need to take 6 semester credits as well as an environmental class. One class that I want to take is 3 credits and offered over the summer for three weeks in July. This one class will cost me a little over $1,100. As a substitute teacher I have no idea when and if I will work during the month. Due to this, my income varies greatly month to month, so saving money can be a little difficult since I also have student loans to pay as well as car insurance. This evening I checked my savings balance and I have finally saved enough to take this class in July. I can't afford to drive to class every day and I can't afford a hotel for three weeks, so I still have more saving to do. But at least I can now afford to take the class, just not to eat or live during the three weeks. Could I live in my car? :)

Complete in Christ

I was reading on Colossians tonight and was struck by two very simple verses. "For in Him (Christ) dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him. . ." Colossians 1:9-10. We are complete in him! How freeing is it to know that we are made complete in him. Nothing I can do, say, or accomplish can complete me, it is only in Christ that I am complete. Our world is constantly seeking to be complete. We are searching for something to fulfill us; make us feel complete, whole, and worth while. We are searching for something that we know is missing in our lives. We are not satisfied with what we have. We are always on the look out for that next new thing to make us happy and fulfilled, whether it be a new job, a new relationship, or a new toy we bought at the store. All these things leave us feeling unsatisfied. The new, bright shiny luster is soon lost and we are once again looking for that thing to complete us, but it is only Christ that can complete us. Plum, a christian band, has a song that speaks about a God shaped hole in all of us that only God can fill (complete). If I keep looking for something or someone else to fill this hole in my life I will continually be disappointed. Only God can fill that missing hole in our lives. We just have to open and willing to let Him fill that hole.

Missing Macedonia

I've gotten a little "home sick" for Macedonia the past few days. I miss my friends that I made and all the sights and sounds of the big city. Don't get me wrong, I love my little town and the quiet, but some times I just want to be around a mass of people and just watch them interact without participating. I loved the cafes around center. I could get a cup of coffee and just sit and watch everyone around me. I also miss walking around the Bit Bazaar and Old Town. Hearing the mingling of languages and the smells of the produce. I miss walking down the old uneven cobblestone streets and looking in all the store windows. The Kale on the hill over looking the town and the steps down to the Vardar, where I would sit and watch the people cross over on the old stone bridge. The best part was that I could walk anywhere in town or take the bus if I got tired.

Job Opening

I've been substituting in the Fall River school district for about 4 years now. I really like this school district, the teachers, and administration. In January I found out that one of the first grade teachers was retiring. I talked with the principal about the job and have been looking for the job posting so I could apply for it. Today, it was finally posted, and the application deadline in next Monday the 24th. I've sent out my application packet this afternoon. Please pray that I get this job.

Quiet moments

Today is one of those days that always seem to come during the week when you have to go to work. Days that I don't want to do anything but curl up on the couch with a good book. I like to call them quiet minutes. Times when there is now where to go and nothing important to do. Quiet minutes seem to be few and far between in life, but one crept upon me today. The simple joy of watching the snow fall, covering the dingy gray road with the never ending uniformity of white. The brown tree trunks in contrast with the snowy world around it, the tree branches encased with ice and snow. Large downy flakes giving way to smaller ones, all with the same task at hand, to cover and hide the world while I watch in comfort inside doing one of my favorite things. Finishing one book, I begin another; escaping to a world not my own through the pages I turn between sips of hot chocolate. No TV, no talking, just music, hot chocolate, and a good book. Quiet moments never last long, maybe a half hour if your lucky. Soon others find you and then those quiet minutes are replaced by something else; different but just as good.

Poltical Rally

The Wisconsin primary is coming up on Tuesday the 19th, and there have been a lot of commericals and new coverage of the canidates. The news focuses mostly on the Democrates it seems, and not much is said or heard of the Repubicans unless it is the results from another states primary. So when I heard that Huckabee was going to be in Madison today, I decided to go to the rally and hear what he had to say. I met up with a co-worker, Emily, and her sister at the rally.
Gov. Huckabee was very entertaining. He told a few jokes at the beginning and then began to talk about why he should be the Republican nomination for president. He talked about his background growing up in Arkansas, his plans to help small businesses and the economy, and securing our boards to make America safer. It was the first time I had ever been to a political rally/campaign. It was interesting and very loud. I even had a reporter ask me some questions. I didn't know how to answer some of them. I'll have to check the paper and see if I'm in it tomorrow.

Baby-sitting my girls

I just returned for doing two of my favorite things, getting my hair done and wrestling with a 6 and 4 year old. I went to my friend Julie's house to watch her 4 girls while she was at a meeting. Of course, needing to expend their energy, a rousing "wrestling match" began shortly after my arrival. Of course I was quickly over powered, 2 on 1 is never very fair. We ended up laughing more than anything. Then Amy and Leah, master beauticians, decided that I needed to have my hair done. To think my hair would be messy after being attacked. Elizabeth, the oldest, put in a movie and Leah and Amy began my hair styling. By the end my hair was in multiple hair ties, clips, and according to Amy, I was beautiful. To bad I didn't have a camera handy, you can always use a picture of "beautiful" hair.

The million dollar question????

I substituted today in a high school. At the front of the room behind the teacher's desk the wall was covered with different things. Some pictures, posters, and bumper stickers. Being the curious person I am by nature, I began to read some of the things the teacher had posted for all to see. Amongst the various things there were bumper stickers supporting controversial subjects. As a teacher, I am not allowed to discuss or promote to my students my views on certain subjects. How than is it alright for this teacher to place in plain sight his/her views on certain subjects. When does that teachers rights to freedom of speech over ride my rights to freedom of speech? If that teacher is allowed to promote his/her view freely in the classroom, than I should have the same rights to post and discuss my view points. Unfortunately, this is not the case in our society. This teachers view is a hot topic and is socially acceptable to teach our children while mine is not.

New License

I went to renew my drivers license yesterday. It has been eight years since I was issued that license. When I got that license I remember thinking hopefully within those eight years, I would need to new license, either to change my name, address, or both. As I stood in line the only thing to change on my license was my hight, weight, and hair color. No major change for me. . . but that is not exactly true. On my license it doesn't look like much has changes, my name is still the same and so is my address, but a lot has changed. I lived overseas for a year. There have been graduations from high school and college. Births of cousins, and weddings. Break ups (no of which were mine), and new hook ups (again not me). There's been new friends made, old friends lost, and some lost to death. So much had changed except on my license. Maybe in the next eight years.